


Everything That Is Not Here

by sofaritsalright



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Divorce, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-04-08 05:50:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4293120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofaritsalright/pseuds/sofaritsalright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years of trouble and heartache, Rory finally finds comfort in Jess and he soon realizes that he might be the only one who can save her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Gilmore Girls fic. It started on Fan Fiction, but I'm bringing it here also! So far it has nine chapters and has gotten rather popular. I hope you all enjoy it, also! To make it all less confusing, I'll let you know that the last time Jess and Rory saw each other was in 6x08, not 6x16 when she went to Philly.

She ran down the empty streets of her hometown in the middle of the night. It felt as if she was going insane, like there was no shred of hope left in the world. Everything had been ruined and there was no way for her to fix it. She came to a screeching halt once she reached the bottom step of the gazebo and inhaled sharply to catch her breath. There were times that she had done this before, in the past, when things were much simpler and she didn't have a thousand things running through her mind. The ice cold breeze and light rain hit her face and it would have been welcomed, but her eyes started to water involuntarily. Before she knew it, she was clutching the railing for dear life feeling like she was going to fall to pieces on the ground for everyone to see if she even dared to let her hand slip.

Lucky enough for the brunette, everyone in the town had their lights out and were hopefully in bed fast asleep. By now, she thought, someone would have noticed her dashing through the streets like a mad woman. She almost hoped that a concerned voice would open their window and ask if she needed any help, but it was better off if that didn't happen.

Finally, after moments of gasping for air, the girl sat own and held her face in her hands. The winter air had made the large ring on her left hand colder than ice, but yet it seemed to burn the skin on her bare cheek. She shook her head in a slow and painful manner, trying to figure out how she even got to this particular moment in time. If she could, she would rewind the past few years in hopes of trying to pinpoint the moment where things went wrong. Pinpoint the exact millisecond where she felt like she had officially lost it. Pinpoint why on earth she was even in Stars Hollow at this time of night. She had a beautiful blond man waiting for her at home, three and a half hours away from her. The girl laughed at her own thought and felt as if she were truly insane. "Get yourself together, you idiot," she spoke softly to herself, trying to soothe her own nerves. "What is wrong with you?" She asked quietly to herself as the tears poured down her face. There was no holding back any longer. This is how things were. She was sad, drunk, and nothing in the world seemed to matter anymore.

It was in the midst of her tears when everything went completely silent and still around her. This had happened a few times before, but it was like time had stopped and she almost wanted it to stay that way. If it had, everything would eventually feel better and she wouldn't have to be the way she was. Oh, she was supposed to have the world in her hands and she almost had it. Her grip wasn't tight enough and she let it fall and shatter to pieces at her feet. Still, she cursed herself for ever letting that happen.

"Rory?" A confused voice yelled from across the street. The girl didn't look up, but instead prayed that she would turn invisible. Who in their right mind would be awake at this time of night? She knew that Stars Hollow went dead as soon as it hit one o'clock. This was supposed to be her escape and some jerk had to go and ruin it for her. "Rory." The voice inched closer, but it still sounded tunnel-like. She hoped that she was hearing things, until a warm hand touched her shoulder. As she lifted up her head, the first thing she noticed was the mascara that had stained her palms and pictured just how messy her face looked. Slowly, she looked up, hoping that it was only Kirk and that he would eventually go away, but no, that's not how the world works. Everything had to be the opposite of what she wanted.

Their eyes locked for the first time since he yelled at her outside of a bar in New Haven. Icy blue to chestnut brown. "Get away from me," she spoke through gritted teeth. "Go!" Her voice was louder than she had intended it to be. She was waiting for an old lady to abruptly shout down to the streets, telling her to shut up and go home.

He sighed, "What is wrong with you?" He rubbed the back of his neck, a move she had seen him do a dozen times in the past decade or so.

She stood up to his height and hastily flattened her dress with her hands. "You shouldn't be here, Jess."

"What, and you should?" He crossed his arms and scoffed, not knowing what he ever did to make her angry or even slightly upset. "I cannot believe that I've been here more often than golden girl Rory Gilmore. It seems like a miracle that you're even standing in the middle of this godforsaken town."

Jess' words cut her deep inside, feeling those words wounding her in the worst way possible. It may have been the truth, but it didn't mean she wanted to hear them spit out at her, especially coming from Jess Mariano. How was it that Jess, of all people, seemed to have himself more put together more than she did? "Why is it that when I ask you to go away you decide to stay and pry?" Rory started to walk away, not wanting to hear his response. She knew it would be a smart-ass comment or even the truth. She wasn't even sure which one would've been worse. The girl picked up her pace, making sure that he wouldn't catch up. She felt the wind in her hair eventually as she ran down the familiar streets, but low and behold, Jess caught up with her, grabbing her by her elbow and making her stand still.

"Stop running," he hissed. "God, haven't we been through this exact scenario before?" He cracked his trademark crooked smile her way which didn't seem very amusing at the moment.

"I wouldn't remember," she lied, trying to wound Jess as bad as he did her, but she had always been a terrible liar and that's just one of the thousand other things that he remembered about her.

He tried to move closer, but went as slow as possible, trying his best not to scare her off. Once he was at a reasonable distance, he smelt the wine that she had been drinking beforehand. "Huh, that definitely explains the attitude."

"Why don't you just leave me alone?"

He didn't listen. He never listened. Instead, he grabbed ahold of her wrist and started walking towards the diner. To Jess, she felt like a dog yanking at its leash, trying its best to get out of the hold that it was in. He tried to be gentle and friendly, but she wasn't letting it happen. As soon as they came up to Luke's, he took his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. This sight surprised Rory. "Why do you have a key?" She had suddenly dropped the angry tone she had been using before and instead sounded like a confused child.

"It's kind of insignificant at this point, don't you think?" The door opened and Jess tried to pull Rory inside. Taking a chair down at what used to be her favorite table, he made her sit down as he trailed behind the counter to start up the coffee machine. Not only was it her favorite thing in existence, but it would also help to sober her up.

"Why do you have a key?" She repeated herself as she set her arms on the table and laid her head on them.

Jess shot his head in her direction. "You miss out on a lot of small things when you leave a place for five years."


	2. Wild World

After minutes of silence and a cup of coffee downed, Jess decided to speak once again. It was driving him crazy that a girl who's usually chatty suddenly lost her voice out of the blue. He wanted explanations and answers, but he knew it'd be excuses or even more useless questions. There was absolutely no point to talking to Rory while she was drunk, but he thought it was worth a shot. "Why haven't you spoken to anyone in five years?" He scolded himself mentally after the words slipped off his tongue. That's not exactly how he wanted to start up the conversation again, but that was the one question he wanted answered.

Rory sunk into her seat. "I— I've been busy," she shrugged and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "I really just haven't gotten a chance."

"That's bullshit and you know it, Rory." His fist flew down on the table, making the girl jump back in her seat. "You're not the kind of person that runs away and doesn't remember how to pick up a phone." He shook his head, unamused by the entire situation. At this point, he thought everyone would have been a lot better off if he wouldn't have even acknowledged her outside. "Is this because of Richie Rich? You feel so compelled to please him that you phase out everyone else? That guy is such a jerk."

"Leave him out of this, Jess!" Rory shouted, unsure why she was even defending Logan. He might have been her husband, but that didn't mean she was exactly happy about that fact still. She assumed all couple got this way after the honeymoon phase ended and that they just had to get it all back together, but so far, trying to build a solid foundation where earthquakes frequently took place was rather hard to do. "I said that I've been busy. That's the honest answer."

Jess scoffed, amazed that she was trying to shrug off the past five years with one short answer. "Give me a break. You missed your own mothers wedding, Rory."

The brunette bit her bottom lip as she tried to find a reasonable answer as to why she skipped the wedding, but she didn't have one to give. Instead, she nodded and her jaw started to quiver. "Was it pretty?"

His facial features softened as soon as he noticed that she was on the verge of tears again. If there was anything he hated the most, it was seeing people cry. Usually it made him uncomfortable, but when it came to Rory, he felt like the moment she shed a tear, he would drop to his knees and do anything in the world to fix whatever was wrong. "It was alright," he shrugged. Jess was never one for weddings or getting dressed up, but like the rest of the world, he knew that Lorelai and his uncle belonged together.

"And they're happy?" She looked down at her hands and intertwined her fingers together, trying to find some distraction away from crying.

"They're happy."

"Good," she nodded. "Good, good. They're supposed to be happy. They're Luke and Lorelai."

"Luke, Lorelai, and Paul Anka are just the poster family of perfection." His voice was dripping with sarcasm, but Rory decided to overlook that, knowing it was just his personality.

"What does Paul Anka have to do with anything?"

Jess smiled. "It's the weird name that Lorelai chose for her strange dog."

Once again, Rory had a frown upon her face and with just one look at her, you could tell that the guilt had officially set in more than ever before. "My mom has a dog?" Jess nodded. Rory shook her head, trying to leave the guilt behind and go back to her previous question. "So, why do you have a key to Luke's?"

The man's eyes widened at the question. She wouldn't give it a rest for some reason and it was about to drive him insane. "I come here often. Well, whenever I have the chance. I did some research for my last book and Luke let me crash upstairs while I was here."

Rory's face lit up at the end of his sentence. "You wrote another book and based it on Stars Hollow?" She always knew that he had a lot of potential and that it took awhile for him to let it show, but now that it was, he was giving it his all. Rory couldn't have been more excited for him if she tried.

"I'm working on a third," he shrugged, not wanting to gloat. Though he did feel some satisfaction in knowing that the girl was happy for him, he didn't let it show. "I mean, it's not like I was writing about Kirk or Taylor, but I guess you could say that." He stuck a finger up in the air to motion that he'd be right back before running off to go upstairs. While he was rummaging through his things to find a spare copy, he wondered if he should even show Rory the book in the first place. It may have been a tremendous mistake to do so, but at least it'd finally be out in the open.

As he came back down to the diner, he held his book in the air. A black and white image of a man's mouth with a cigarette dangling from his lips was the entire cover with the title _Wild World_ made up the front cover. He handed it to her gently, always wanting to take care of his works of art and he suddenly felt a lump in his throat the size of Texas. He could hardly breathe as she perused the back cover's description.

_Mariano's second book, Wild World, tells the story of a small town love affair between two teens that make the phrase "opposites attract" come to life. With an original twist on love and yearning, Mariano reaches for your heartstrings and pulls at them one-by-one..._

He shoved his hands into his pockets, waiting for her to say anything at all. Instead, she stayed silent as tears welled up in her eyes. That was the opposite of what he thought she would do. Jess thought that she would be furious and would charge at him screaming and punching, but this, this was unexpected. "You wrote a book about me," she cried, "I cannot believe that someone wrote a book about me." It sounded like they were happy tears as she sifted through all of the jagged emotions she had felt tonight. In another unexpected twist, Rory stood up and threw her arms around him. She lingered for what felt like hours and he held on too tight, feeling that if he loosened his grip, she would slip away once again.

"You can keep the copy if you'd like." He whispered to her as he trailed his fingers up and down her spine.

Rory laid her head on his shoulder, "I'd like that." The warmth of her breath on his neck sent electric chills all over his body. He knew he should let go and put a good distance between them, but at the same time, he never thought that he'd get the chance to cradle her like this ever again.

"Rory?" She made a light noise as a response. "You need to go see your mom."

With that, she let go and took a step back. She looked appalled. It was the truth, but she was dumbfounded at the sentiment seeing that it was coming from his mouth. Jess had never been one for family or liking Lorelai, so why did it even matter to him? Jess Mariano, family man, didn't quite suit him. How was he more involved with family than she was? Rory didn't understand it at all. With all the guilt that she felt, she let go of the anger and agreed. "I know I do," she gulped. "Can I stay upstairs until morning? I'll surprise her when she comes in for breakfast."

Jess smiled, finally content with at least one of her decisions of the night. "Of course, but no sneaking out." He locked the door and turned off the lights of the diner and headed upstairs behind Rory. The night had been interesting to say the least, but he was happy that he got her to stick around for a little bit. He felt the need to sleep with one eye open, just incase she tried to slip out while he was fast asleep.

Once upstairs, Jess threw her an over-sized t-shirt to sleep in, knowing that the dress she was wearing would've been extremely uncomfortable if she even tried to keep it on. While she changed, he made up her bed and waited for her to lie down and get comfortable so he could go off to the opposite end of the apartment. "I'm glad you're here," he said sincerely. Rory had no response and instead crawled under the blankets as Jess walked off to the opposite end of the apartment. "Goodnight, Rory." He looked back over and she was already off to sleep which made him crack a small smile. Sleep was probably exactly what she needed right now.


	3. Mended Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all! I want to apologize for not posting this any sooner. This story is pretty advanced on FF.net and I just didn't transfer it all yet. My apologies. I hope you all enjoy!

The girl woke up startled a few hours later, trying to figure out where she was. As she looked around through sleep-filled eyes, she recognized the dreary office-turned-apartment and remembered everything that had happened the night before. As she sat up, she felt as if her head was going to be the death of her as the migraine pounded on the walls of her head with all of its might. She hissed and put a hand to her forehead as she stood up and tiptoed around to find her belongings. Rory wanted to stay so badly, but she also thought about all the terribleness that would become of the situation if she stuck around much longer. Jess would probably kill her, she knew that for sure. At the same time, she was already feeling her guilt grow inside the bottom of her stomach, making her feel more and more nauseous by the second.

Rory walked softly over to the kitchen area, trying her hardest not to make a single peep. When she found a sticky note, she scattered the sorry on it in a rather sloppy fashion and left it near Jess' bed. She contemplated writing more than that, but she didn't want any evidence of her short-lived visit back home left behind. As she walked towards the door, she turned around and looked at the man who was sleeping soundly with his arms crossed against his chest. For a second, her mind showed her old polaroids of the two together and she remembered everything about Jess that made him special. She always carried a torch for him, but it was hidden so deep down that she couldn't even feel the flame of it any longer. She shook her head and snapped out of the thoughts and quickly opened the door and headed downstairs.

Her heart pounded as she rounded the corner and saw that the lights to the diner were on. She thought that Jess had turned them off before going upstairs, but she could have been wrong about that fact… That was until she heard a gasp coming from behind the counter.

"Rory." He said her name for what felt like the first time in decades. His eyes lit up as his jaw dropped. He had no clue how to react upon seeing her.

"Uh, Luke," she gulped, "hi."

As silence and awkward tension formed between the two, from upstairs she heard the door slam and footsteps running down the wooden stairs in a hurry. "Where do you think you're go-" Jess yelled before he noticed Luke standing behind the counter, looking like he had seen a ghost. "Hi." Jess filled with guilt. He didn't think it was possible to feel guilty over something he didn't cause, but now he did. The three of them nodded and tried to think of something — anything at all — to say, but there was nothing but the sound of the oven starting in the background. "I'll make some coffee," Jess offered as he walked behind the counter.

Luke still stood in the same spot with his jaw on the floor as he stared at Rory. He knew this day would come, but he didn't think it would take so long. "I need to call your mom," he stated, not knowing whether or not that was the right thing to do.

Rory shook her head violently. "I need to go to her. Please. Before anyone else sees me." She shot her blue puppy eyes to Jess, knowing it'd make him weak. He scoffed and Rory took that as an agreement as he poured coffee into two to-go cups knowing that no matter what Lorelai's reaction would be, the coffee would help soothe her.

Instead of taking the normal five minute walk to the Gilmore-Danes residence, Rory begged Jess to drive instead since she didn't want anyone else in town to see her. She knew they'd all be excited and warm up to her quickly, but that'd make her feel a thousand times worse than she already did. When she abandoned Stars Hollow, she didn't realize she had left all of the characters and souls that made up the place until she was sitting in a restaurant in England, wondering what the hell happened to her life. She quit Yale, joined the DAR, and worst of all, she married the wrong man. She knew that she screwed up big time, but until she had Jess forcing her to make amends, she was too scared to come around and fix all the broken relationships she left behind.

Rory started to tremble as soon as she stepped out of the passenger seat. Jess took note that her hand was shaking so much that he thought the lid on the coffee cup would soon pop off and scorching hot coffee would spill everywhere. He held out his hand to Rory, as if she were a little kid that needed help crossing the street, but she shook her head and continued onward up the steps.

"Mom?" She yelled the moment she walked through the unlocked door. Her heart was about to pound out of her chest and she was sure that her body was about to explode at any given second. "M-" she stopped and cocked her head at the shaggy gray dog who looked scared out of his skin.

"Paul Anka." Jess confirmed, though his voice was filled with confusion every time he had to say the dogs name.

"Hello?" Rory shouted up the stairs, waiting for her mother to say anything at all.

"Rory?" Lorelai called and ran down the steps. Before they knew it, both of the women had tears streaming down their faces. "Rory, baby, I'm so glad to see you." She wrapped her arms around her only child, wanting to weep harder than ever before.

"I'm so sorry, mom. I didn't mean to do all of that. I'm sorry." Rory stammered through her apology, but her mom shook her head as if to say that all was forgotten and forgiven. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she admitted and looked over to Jess to find an answer, but the man was shifting uncomfortably and looking at the floor.

After minutes, the girls unlatched and wiped their tears. "Oh, Jess," Lorelai forced out a laugh, "I didn't even see you there."

He shrugged, suddenly acting like his seventeen year-old self once again. Something about the Gilmore house made him go back into his shell. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but it was definitely a weird feeling. "I'm gonna leave you two alone." He nodded towards the door and rubbed the back of his neck out of a nervous habit. "You two have a lot of catching up to do." With that, he headed towards the door and back to his car. As soon as he was about to get in, he saw a happier than life Lorelai running towards him.

"Look, I don't know what you did to bring her home, but I'm glad you did. You're not so bad after all." Lorelai flashed a genuine smile and quickly wrapped her arms around him, taking them both by complete surprise. "Thank you."

Jess shrugged once more and mentally kicked himself for doing so. "It's no problem."


	4. The Getaway

In the bathroom of the second story loft, Rory hung her upper body outside the window and puffed on a cigarette while watching the somewhat vacant streets of New York City. Her nasty habit wasn't new at all, but it was something that Logan didn't appreciate much. Since he found out a few months ago, she has been having to smoke behind his back whenever he was sleeping or in a totally different city than she was. The girl picked up her phone for a moment to check the time; it was 4:46 a.m. and she realized that she had been sitting in the bathroom in a silk nightgown for almost a half hour now. As she rolled the filter back and forth between her thumb and index finger, she remembered the way Jess looked when he smoked. He was so at peace and even though the small sticks were full of horrible things that could cause many different types of illnesses, watching the smoke billow out of his mouth soothed her. After all these years, she still thought back to those times where he'd sneak away from her and pull out a cigarette, too afraid to get secondhand smoke anywhere near the petite girl. He knew just as well as she did that smoking was the worst thing there was, but he didn't seem to mind.

As she took a small hit, she realized that it was probably those memories that caused her to start smoking in the first place. She did hide it from everyone, unlike Jess who would openly smoke in front of a gas pump if he got the chance to. The girl tapped her manicured nails on the porcelain toilet-seat cover and bit down on her lip before making the rash decision to pick up her phone and call him. Rory knew that it was almost five in the morning, but she needed to hear his voice.

Jess' phone started blaring a Clash song that startled him so much in his deep sleep that he had almost fallen off the bed. The man groaned as he rolled over to pick up his phone, squinting at its brightness. It indicated that there was no caller ID, but Jess picked it up anyway. "Yeah?" He answered in an irritated voice. After seconds of silence, Jess sighed and shook his head, waiting for some sort of response. "Julie, if this is you…" He trailed off, annoyed by the very thought of his ex calling right now, waking him up from his deep sleep.

"Who's Julie?" She asked quietly, trying not to make too much noise.

Jess rubbed his face and sat up against his headboard. "Who is this?"

"Rory," she stated, sounding sad that he couldn't even tell that it was her.

Jess knit his brow together in confusion. He hadn't seen her since he took her to her moms house and there was no way she could have had his number unless she pried it out of Luke. "Rory," he parroted her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded absentmindedly as if he were next to her and able to see her actions. "Yeah, I just wanted to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

The girl ashes her cigarette out the window and took another drag before speaking again. "Is it possible that I could come stay with you for a few days?"

Jess rolled his eyes, "What, did you and Blondie get into a fight?"

The girl scoffed, "He's going out of town and I could use some time away from here. I just wanted to hang out, that's all." She didn't intend to sound as frustrated as she was, but there was something about Jess' tone and comments that irked her in the worst way.

He slouched back down onto his pillow, thinking about it. There were so many things that could happen in those few days and he didn't want to be the one to screw up anything for Rory. They were usually bad for each other and he knew that. But instead, his tired mind spoke freely for him. "Sure, that's fine." He shook his head as soon as the words left his tongue. He didn't mean to say that, but he didn't want to be rude and take it bad immediately since he could practically hear her mood pick up on the other end of the phone.

"Really?" Her smile was more than apparent to Jess and he chuckled when he heard it.

"I'll text you the address if you let me go back to sleep," he took in a deep breath and rolled over in his bed.

"Goodnight, Jess."

"G'night."

With that, Jess placed quickly texted her his address to his place in Philadelphia before going back to sleep. He contemplated whether or not this would be a good idea or not. He didn't want to start anything with Logan, for starters, and he also didn't want to screw things up between him and Rory once again. He thought they had a nice, new start back in Stars Hollow, even if it was just a few hours. Though they might not be teenagers anymore, he wanted things back the way they used to be when they could talk about music and literature for hours on end and have intellectual conversations and arguments over which author was better. That's the Rory and Jess he wanted back and hated himself for even thinking about those days. They were over now. Rory was with Logan. That was that. It is what it is, he thought and went back to bed, trying not to think about it any longer.

Back in New York, Rory had finished smoking her third cigarette of the night and decided it was time to go to bed. Her head and heart were at ease now that Jess said she could come visit later on in the week. Obviously, she couldn't tell Logan such a thing, but if he asked, she'd say she wanted to go check out Philadelphia. Logan wouldn't have to know anything. He was kind of oblivious to anything Rory did anyway, so she didn't need to feel guilty about it at all.

Before heading back to the bedroom, she decided to wash up and get the smoke smell off of her. She hated the way that they smelled and tasted, but they made her feel okay momentarily until she reached the tip of the filter. All her sorrows went out the window with the smoke just for a few minutes when the cigarettes were still burning.

As she climbed into bed next to her husband, she sighed. Once again, he didn't even care that she wasn't next to him. He didn't even realize that she had been gone for over forty minutes now. She looked at him for a moment, peaceful in his sleep, and wondered how different things would be if she would've went back to Yale and broken up with Logan. Would she be any happier? Probably, she thought. If only she had listened to Jess then things would be so different for her right now. She rolled over so her back was facing Logans and decided to sleep it all off. There was no use in trying to change the past now.


	5. Those Dumb Teenage Feelings

The following afternoon, Jess heard a loud knock on his door, prompting him to jolt awake and run to answer it. He knew Rory wanted to come over, but he didn't expect it to be so soon. She hadn't exactly set a date to arrive, so Jess shrugged it off and let her inside. She looked around, eyes wide, as Jess nervously followed her. They hadn't said a word to each other. She was jittery from the coffee she was downing all morning and he was still trying to wake up. "I like your place," she finally said. Jess looked around at the clutter, wondering if she was being serious or not. He thought that the must be used to a bigger space at this point, but authors and publishers didn't exactly make enough to live like a Huntzberger.

Jess waved his hand in motion for her to follow him. As they trailed through the short hallway, he opened the last door on the right and stepped in. "You can stay in here." He placed his hands in his pockets, suddenly feeling like their lives didn't add up like they used to. "Sorry it's a little cluttered," he apologized, "I didn't think you'd be here so soon." He shrugged.

She didn't say anything. Instead, she sat her bags down and ran to the bookshelves that lined the walls. With a smile on her face, she ran a finger over each title and nodded. "I don't mind," she admitted, "at least it's good clutter." She smiled softly over at him and continued to browse the shelves until she came across a familiar book and took it out, showing him the cover. The Fountainhead shined like a beacon of hope for the two. "What happened to Ayn Rand being a political nut?"

The man shrugged and hid a grin that was growing on his face. He tried to play it cool, but gave up almost immediately. "I guess it reminds me of better times," he sighed, "but that doesn't mean she's not crazy." He emphasized the last part of the sentence, knowing that his stance on the subject would always be the same and never changing. "I tried reading it again, but I still couldn't finish it."

Rory shook her head and let out a laugh. "You're still thick headed, I see." She flipped through it, noting the underlined passages and small notes in the margins. She came upon a heavily circled passage, making it look like Jess aggressively pressed his pen into the book. You have been the one encounter in my life that can never be repeated. After that, there weren't any other notes, it had all ended with that one line. Feeling smaller than ever, Rory placed it back in the spot she had pulled it from.

"Rory, why are you here?" He blurted it right out instead of finding a good segue. He had never been one for segue's anyway.

The girls smile vanished from her face instantly and she plopped down on the bed. She had plenty of reasons why, but it would take hours to explain. "I just—" She gulped and tried to find certain words that weren't coming to her mind. "I couldn't stay in that house any longer." She blinked away the tears that she felt stinging her eyes. She had no idea what to do other than run off and come to Jess. It's not like Logan had to know — he was halfway across the world at the moment. "It's suffocating me and I can't stand it any longer. When you found me in the gazebo, I was so angry, but it kind of gave me some hope, you know? You did the right thing. I haven't been able to do the right thing in such a long time, Jess." By now, tears were falling everywhere, but she hardly noticed. She had become so numb to certain things that it didn't even matter.

She looked over at the man who had his arms crossed and an angry look on his face. She didn't know if he was just thinking or if he was ready to throw her out of his apartment. Finally, his features softened and he looked straight at her. "Okay." That was all he was able to say. The monosyllabic Jess had returned once again, giving Rory plenty of flashbacks that she could never forget.

"You're mad," she assumed.

"Not mad."

"Yes, you are." She muttered under her breath.

"Rory," he started walking closer to her, "I get it. I've been there. I mean, I didn't have a blond dick of a husband and what I'm assuming to be a gigantic house, but I'm not going to toss you out or anything, so don't worry. Just think of this as your safe place, alright?" He looked down at her as she finally wiped the tears off of her cheeks. He had the strong urge to reach his hand out and wipe them off himself, but instead he balled his hands into fists at his sides to stop him from doing so.

Though she wasn't happy with the words he chose, she decided not to argue with Jess about it. He had been nice enough to let her in after she had invited herself over, so there was no use in starting any trouble. "Thank you." She glanced up, meeting his eyes once again and getting lost in them. She hated herself for the way his glare made her feel, but she finally decided not to care. She liked the feeling of being a dumb teenager all over again since her twenties weren't going as well as they were supposed to.


	6. Chapter 6

Jess leaned his head back to look at the nights sky that seemed to have fallen on him suddenly. He exhaled smoke and remembered the fact that the luminous pollution made it hard to see the stars he so badly needed to see at that particular moment. A day with a Gilmore girl was usually fun and full of surprises, but today, on the other hand, seemed to drag on forever. He had realized that the girl he once knew was trapped somewhere inside of her, hiding behind her eyelids and fearful to show herself once again. The man didn't know what to do or what to say. All he could do was watch as the pain never left her face once throughout the day. He wanted to take that away. He didn't want to see the emptiness in her eyes, but instead the liveliness that had once been ever-so vibrant in those blue irises. He rubbed his face as he took another drag, contemplating flying overseas and punching Logan for turning Rory into the mess that she is now. God, he wanted nothing more than to see the Rory he knew and loved once again, but thanks to the spoiled brat that she called a husband, he didn't think that girl would ever show up again.

After two and a half cigarettes, Jess decided to call it quits and headed back downstairs from the roof of his apartment. Normally he would take his sweet time getting back inside, but he feared that Rory would run again and he couldn't handle that. Jess wanted nothing more than to get through to her — just like he had tried over five years ago — but it never seemed to sink in. She was the smartest girl he had ever met and yet, he didn't know how she could be so dumb when it came to major life decisions. She admitted she wasn't happy, but Jess had known that since he laid eyes on her after all of those years.

He slipped in the front door, trying his best not to make a noise. It was heading on two o'clock in the morning and he didn't know if she was asleep yet or not. He figured that she was, seeing that she was nowhere to be found. With a content look on his face, he walked over to the fridge to grab a water before heading off to bed himself. To his surprise, he found a small piece of paper with Rory's handwriting on it. At first, he panicked, thinking that she had snuck out while he wasn't looking, but instead, he felt his heartstrings being pulled on.

_You are the only one who has understood even a whisper of me, and I will tell you that I am the only person who has understood even a whisper of you._

He let out a sigh, but smiled immediately afterwards. He noticed the words from Everything Is Illuminated faster than he thought possible and shook his head, thinking about when the two of them were still in high school. Instead of writing cliche love notes like every teenager, the two always decided to plagiarize their thoughts in a way and speak through other authors. They'd always leave small pieces of paper or anything worth writing a thought on and pass it to each other or just leave it in plain sight — sometimes, they'd even be tucked in-between books, hidden in small places that took forever to find. They were always a great surprise to find and often made both of them swoon.

After what felt like hours of staring at the single sentence and rubbing the paper together between his fingers, he decided that he'd follow in her footsteps and write one for her also. Maybe slip it under her door on the way to his room. He thought long and hard about this one, unlike the days when the quotes would come easy to him. As badly as he wanted to sift through a million different things that could relate to his real feelings and how he was still "pining" after the girl, he decided that now wasn't the time. He wasn't going to ruin her more than she had ruined herself. It wouldn't be fair to either of them, that's for sure. Finally, he scribbled down a Chuck Palahnuik quote that he thought would get through to Rory.

_The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open._

The man smiled down at the sentence and headed towards the hallway, carefully slipping it under her door when he got the chance. As he settled down in his room, he heard a knock that startled him. "Yeah?" He yelled from his bed as he placed his hand in the book he was reading to save his spot.

Rory walked in, looking very tired and worn out. She held the note up in the air and waved it around for a second. "You're still good at this," she admitted and sat down at the foot of his bed.

He raised his eyebrows slightly and set his book aside. "I thought you were sleeping."

The girl shook her head and pursed her lips together. "I couldn't sleep." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and flashed what seemed to be a fake smile in his direction.

He stared at her for quite awhile, thinking of ways he could turn that smile into something genuine before she left his apartment. It reminded him of the first thing he was going to write on the note that he slipped under her door:  _You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth_. He finally knew that Chuck Palahnuik was correct and it pained him, but he'd never admit it. He wanted so badly to say the words, but he didn't at the risk of upsetting Rory. Instead, he moved on to a different topic and picked up the book he was currently reading. "Ever read this?"

Rory examined the torn and frayed cover of A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway, noting that this might not have been the first time Jess picked up this book. She shook her head once more. "You know I don't like Hemingway."

"That's a shame," Jess grinned, "the man was a genius."

She rolled her eyes, "You're nuts."

Jess' grin turned into a full blown smile. "That may be true, but that doesn't mean that I'm wrong."

The girl jumped off the bed and held a finger in the air to motion that she'd be right back. Jess waited in silence, wondering what in the hell she was doing. When she returned moments later, a book with over 900 pages plopped down on his stomach, making the man feign pain. "Anna Karenina," she said as he pursued read back cover, "you read that, and I'll give the ever-so-painful Hemingway a try for the last time."

Jess stuck out his hand and shook hers, signifying that a deal had been made. "I'm gonna hold you to that," he warned, "so you better have it finished by the time you leave here."

"I can't promise anything." She said as she sat back down at the edge of the bed and started to flip to the first chapter. "Wow, five words in and I'm already feeling more tired than I was just a few minutes ago."

Jess kicked her leg playfully and opened up her choice. "And I can't believe you called  _me_  the thick headed one."

Their eyes met for only a brief second before they both turned back to their new books. This felt all too familiar to the pair, but it was what worked the best. They had related to each other on a completely different level than they had with anyone else. It felt right, but also wrong. In a way, it felt like she was almost cheating on Logan, but she didn't mind the feeling. Her and Jess were friends first and they could be friends now, she assumed. Instead of wasting away in the thoughts of what could've been and trying to find Jess in Hemingway, she dug deeper into the book, trying to feel something from the author's words for the first time in her short existence. Jess did the same as he read Leo Tolstoy with ease, but wondered how in the world he ever let something so great and beautiful like their relationship to slip up in the first place.

With one last glance over to Rory who seemed to have heavier eyes as she read, he remembered his favorite line from the book:  _Why, darling, I don't live at all when I'm not with you._  He closed his eyes and let out a silent sigh before returning back to Anna Karenina to let all of the repetitive thoughts slip away.


	7. We'll Fix It Somehow

The two walked back into Jess' apartment with genuine laughter filling the air around them. "So, we're both in agreement that it was a terrible movie, then?" Rory asked as she leaned against Jess' side for support. He nodded and unlocked the door, realizing he may have just seen the worst movie ever made. "God, how did anyone think that Jennifer's Body was a good idea?" The girl went straight to the coffee machine and poured herself a cold mug full before putting it in the microwave and boosting herself on the counter.

Jess shrugged. "I'm just going to assume that it's because Megan Fox is hot."

"And what?" Rory asked. "Her attractiveness what supposed to completely block out everything else about the movie?"

"Apparently so." He said with his eyebrows raised as a smirk rose on his lips once again.

He couldn't help but to smile whenever Rory was in a good mood. It took three and a half days of crying and moping around for the girl to return to her old self that everyone knew and loved. Jess tried everything in between then and now to make a smile appear every once in awhile, but it always faded away too soon. Today, though, was much different. She woke up in a good mood and suggested they go to breakfast, which Jess cheerfully obliged, even though he hadn't gotten any sleep the previous night. He wanted to do anything in the world to make her understand that she deserved true, never-ending happiness, and this seemed to be a good start to it all.

Rory took her coffee out of the microwave and held the mug firmly between her hands as she let it cool down. "Is it bad that I want to see it again?" She suddenly asked with a small twinkle in her eyes.

He scoffed, "It would be bad if you didn't."

He inched closer to his friend, not even sure why, but there was something so alluring about the smile that he worked so hard to put back on her face. She still looked broken from the outside in, but he could fix that if she would let him. He reached out to touch her cheek and she didn't flinch like she though she would. They stayed like that for a moment before leaning in to each other, until they were interrupted by Rory's phone going off. She didn't look at the caller i.d., but instead rushed to pick it up, not wanting to do something she regretted.

"Saved by the bell," he muttered under his breath while moving to lean against the counter.

"Hello?" She said in a slight panic.

" _Hey Ace._ "

Rory gulped as she jumped off the counter. "Logan— hi."

" _What's been going on?_ "

"Not much. How's work?"

Jess watched Rory as she paced back and forth and got caught in the middle of a mundane conversation. He knew that they were both highly intelligent, so why did their conversation have to be so tight and boring? He wondered for a moment if they had actual conversations like he and Rory did, about literature and life and love, but he shrugged it off. It wasn't any of his business anyway, but he couldn't help but to let his mind wander back to those thoughts as he saw her struggle to speak to him with the guilt in her body language. He remembered the night that he was at the Gilmore house and Dean called; it was the same exact motions and worrisome voice all these years later.

After she finally said goodnight and hung up, she turned her attention back to Jess. "I don't like that guy." Jess said without skipping a beat.

It took Rory by surprise for a moment. She actually forgot how blunt the man could be. "No one asked you to like him, Jess." Her mood shifted as she defended her husband. Suddenly she wasn't in the mood for talking, especially not to Jess.

"Whatever." He grabbed Anna Karenina off of the couch and his pack of cigarettes that were sitting on the counter and headed towards the door. "I'll be back."

Rory followed after him. "Where are you going?" He didn't answer. His silence made the girl grow more and more frustrated by the second. She didn't know what she did to upset him. She slammed the apartment door behind her and followed him to the stairway. "Jess, can you just talk to me?"

"There's nothing to talk about," he said with a bitter tone.

She left it alone until they reached the last door that took them to the rooftop. Rory took in the city's air as the breeze hit her face, making her feel comfort that she hadn't felt in a long time. She stood back and watched Jess as he sat down next to a coffee can of cigarette butts and opened up his book, setting the pack of smokes beside him. She quietly scooted in next to him and opened the pack, carefully selecting a cigarette for herself and the lighter that he had wedged in there against nine sticks of tobacco. She twirled in her fingers for a moment before setting it between her lips and lighting it. The click of the lighter made Jess' eyes flutter over to the woman sitting next to him. He knit his brow together out of confusion and watched as she deeply inhaled all of the chemicals and released them into the air. "You don't smoke," he finally said. This time, it was Rory that stayed quiet. For some reason, an actual conversation wasn't coming easy for the two like it used to. "Why in the world would you even start smoking?" Jess let out a forced laugh, almost scoffing at the sight of her, before lighting up one for himself.

After a minute of silence, Rory finally answered. "Because of you."

Jess nodded and bit his bottom lip. He was trying so hard to understand where Rory was coming from after all of these years, but he couldn't. She was now like a puzzle that was missing one too many pieces and Jess was determined to scour the earth in order to put her back together again, even if it took his whole life to do. "You make it sound like I forced a cigarette in your hand and demanded that you smoke." He ran a hand through his messy hair and shook his head.

Rory hummed. "You left me. I didn't know what else to do."

The man's head shot over in her direction, waiting for some sort of explanation. He didn't want to be the one to blame at this particular moment, but it seemed like she was going to do just that.

"It kept you alive, in a way," she shrugged, not knowing the right words.

" _Rory_." Jess stood up and forced out a sigh, not wanting to make his voice any louder than it already was. "None of this — none of what happened to  _you_  is  _my_  fault. You do know that, right? I'm the one who told you to go back to Yale and to leave Logan and to go home, but you didn't listen. I may have fucked up a few times, but that doesn't mean that I didn't want the right thing for you, so you can't blame me for something I didn't do." He felt the need to catch his breath. These were words he had been dying to say since she stepped foot into his apartment a couple days ago. "And whatever it is you're doing here, right now, doesn't make sense to me at all. And it also isn't fair to me. You're toying with me, Ror. This isn't high school, I shouldn't have to feel guilty when you're at my place and your husband calls. I didn't invite you here. You came here on your own. Whatever this is, it isn't fair to me."

Rory drank in his words, feeling the burning tears prick her eyes. She looked up to the sky, trying to blink them back, but instead they didn't respond and fell down her face. He was right. He was always right and that bothered her more than anything else about him. "I know," she said with a shaky voice. "I'm sorry." Even though Jess didn't want her apology, he sat back down and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, wanting nothing more than to comfort her. "I need to fix this." She buried her head into his shoulder. A lit cigarette was still dangling in her hand that was rested on her thigh and Jess watched it as it burnt downward and ashes fell off the top every time she moved her hand slightly.

He finally stopped looking at the cigarette long enough to let out one more sigh and press his cheek against the top of her head. "We'll fix it then." It was a promise he was willing to keep in order for Rory Gilmore to find her original self once again. He knew that girl had to be tucked away somewhere deep inside of her and he was willing to find her and show her what she's been missing.


	8. Little Richie Rich

Rory woke up with a pounding headache. All she could remember were words flying as fast as the chairs that flew across the room. There was loud screaming from all around and as she took a sip of water from the bedside table, she felt that her throat was scratchy. She could've been one of those screaming voices for all she knew. Upon further inspection, her wedding ring was nowhere to be found. She started to panic as soon as she realized that there was no indentation on her finger, which means it hadn't been on there in probably hours. The girl frantically ripped sheets off the bed in search for the missing possession, but it was nowhere to be found. Stumbling out of bed, she realized the massive hangover was pounding her head like woodpeckers pecking at her brain, making it way too hard to see. As she grabbed her head and groaned, she tripped over a massive lump on the floor that she hadn't noticed before. She steadied herself before looking down and realized it was Jess, who was sporting some pretty large bruises on his face along with dried blood. She noted the black eye, making her think back to the time he was viciously attacked by a sawn. She wanted to laugh at the memory, but she knew it would hurt her head if she even tried. "What the hell happened last night?" She whispered to herself as she reached down to shake Jess' shoulder. "Hey," she said, "wake up. You cannot be comfy."

The man jerked awake, shooting his eyes wide open before throwing a hand over his eyes to protect him from the sunlight peeking through the window. Needless to say, his head feeling as lousy as Rory's at this point. "Hey," he greeted her with a strained voice as he lifted himself up a little and leaned back on his elbows for support.

Rory sat down beside him and hung her head in her hands. "Jess, what happened last night?"

For a moment he was silent, prompting Rory to lift up her head and look at him. He was wearing that cocky, crooked smirk of his. It was weak from the pain, but god, it was there and she wanted nothing more than to smack it off of his face. "You don't remember?" Rory shook her head. "Seriously?" Once again, she shook her head. Finally, Jess chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face. "Richie Rich happened.

At first the words didn't transfer, but after awhile, Rory shot up off the ground. "Logan did this- that." She pointed at Jess' face and he nodded in response. "You're kidding, right?" She crossed her arms, but he shook his head.

"Rory, I wouldn't lie about that. Dude's an asshole." He followed in suit and got off the ground, wincing from the pain in his back from sleeping on a wooden floor all night long. He headed into the bathroom to look in the mirror. "Oh my God," he groaned. "I cann- I really hope he's looking just as bad right now." The man was left with a big, purple bruise under his left eye and a bruised jawbone. His cheeks were cheery red from the blood vessels that broke under his skin. To top it all off, there was dried blood under his nose and his upper lip. Jess let out a laugh as soon as Rory came in to get a good look under the light.

"Jess, this isn't funny."

He cocked his head to the side and looked at her. "It's pretty funny."

Though she could tell that he was being sarcastic, Rory was completely irritated with his mood. She blamed it on the hangover and the fact that she couldn't remember anything, but maybe it was a little deeper than that. "Tell me what happened. Please."

Jess started to make his way out of Rory's room and into the living room so he could sit down on the couch. First, he made sure that Rory understood that they were out at a bar last night. That much she remembered. "You were 'drinking him away' or whatever bull you were spewing while you were half-drunk," he explained while rolling his eyes and making hand gestures to make it sound more dramatic. "A few hours later... he showed up." Jess couldn't even say his name at this point. There was no use. He was basically dead to Jess anyway. "He went on and on, bitching about how you ended up here with me. I tried to be the gentleman, you know, and defend you honor or whatever and he wasn't having it. Next thing I know, he's grabbing me by the collar and telling me that I'm a piece of shit and should know better than to have drinks with some other guys wife. So, I threw the first punch. Now, I'm not too happy about that, but it needed to happen."

"You punched him?" Rory covered her face once again as she was on the verge of screaming.

"Really?" Jess asked as he gestured to the current state of his face. "I can't stand the guy, so yeah, I punched him. Big deal." He shrugged and took a deep breath. "It got a little out of hand from there. You can't really expect two drunk guys to talk it out, so instead it resulted in physical violence. The rest is history."

The two sat in silence, contemplating the whole situation. Rory didn't know what to think of anything. She didn't even remember it, but yet her blood was boiling hot. She didn't know who she was more angry with: Jess, Logan, or herself. "Where's my wedding ring?"

Jess scoffed. "You threw it at him. That was probably my favorite part, to be honest."

"Jess!"

"What?"

Rory shook her head, not knowing what to say or do at that point. "I think I should probably go call him." She shrugged, not really wanting to think about Logan or Jess, but something had to be resolved.

Jess stood up and shook his head. "Yeah, you do that." He headed towards his bedroom, completely dumbfounded that the end result was Rory calling her hopefully soon-to-be ex-husband. The situation may have been exhausting, but Jess knew what outcome he was hoping for and it didn't involve blondie whatsoever.

It took several minutes for Rory to look around the apartment for her phone, but once she got it, she sighed and dialed his number. Something in her gut was hopeful that he wouldn't answer and that it would go straight to voicemail so she didn't have to deal with him. Instead, nothing went as planned and he ended up answering.

"You cannot be serious."

She could tell that he was fuming still, but Rory opened her mouth to speak anyway. "Logan... I'm not sure what happened last night, but I'm sorry."

On the other end, she could her him laugh; the laughter sounded phony and bitter. "Right, right. Yeah. I'm sure you are." The man continued to laugh, but this time he sounded like he was going to have a mental break. "Do you not remember anything that you said to me? I didn't exactly expect a call from you any time soon. Divorce papers, maybe, but not a call."

Rory sucked in her lower lip and tried to think back to the past twelve hours, but everything was a blur. Too many martinis can do that to a person. "Logan, I don't know what happened. I'm sorry. I am really, really sorry."

"Ace, if you were sorry, you wouldn't still be at his apartment. You wouldn't have drunkenly called our marriage a mistake. You said you should've gone back to Yale and that I'm the reason why you didn't. But hey, guess who's the one who told you to go back a million times? You said that I ruined your life. And maybe, just maybe, you ruined mine too."

Tears began to make their way to Rory's eyes, clouding up her vision until she could hardly see what was directly in front of her. "I don't know what I did." Her voice was cracking. She was genuinely hurt and confused. "I don't know why I would say those things. I'm sorry, Logan."

"Can you come home so we can discuss this? I think you're just having a bad week. I can get Doctor Clarke to come over and help you."

Hearing the name Doctor Clarke made Rory's body freeze. She hated that man. She hated the fact that he filled her up with so much Prozac that she could barely comprehend a simple conversation. What she hated the most was the fact that Logan thought it was necessary for her to see a psychiatrist. He thought she was crazy and that killed the girl. "Okay." That's all she could say. She wasn't going to argue; she was just going to accept whatever her husband said. "I'll come home."

In the hallway, Jess stood with a frown as he listened to her speak. He felt his heart break all over again. He didn't understand what was happening or why she would go home to Logan instead of staying with him. She felt happy when she was with Jess, but was miserable when she was with Richie Rich. He didn't get it. Marriage or not, she didn't owe him anything. Jess didn't want to hear the rest of it and instead went into his bedroom like he originally planned. Once again, he was the one put in an unfair circumstance and he was starting to think that's all that Rory ever has been is unfair. First with Dean, now with Logan. He could never catch a damn break.


	9. Dinner in London

"Is this seat taken?" A familiar voice asked, prompting the man to look up. Brown eyes meeting blue all over again. They were the eyes he hadn't seen in months; the eyes he had spent too much time worrying over. With no words, he shook his head. He wanted so badly to tell her to go away, do get out of there. God, they weren't even in the states. How was this happening. She ordered a bottle of wine as he starred on, waiting for something to happen as the sky kept falling over him. It had been seven months since the pair spoke - since Rory dropped everything to go back to the blond dickhead that she claimed to be so madly in love with.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence and a half of glass of wine later, he finally sighed and hung his head low. "What the hell are you doing here, Rory?"

"Eating and having a glass of wine," she said with a smile, as if nothing had ever happened. She tried to make it seem like there had been no time spent in silence between the two, but he remembered every time he had to look at her. It was like every atom in his body was aching with hurt and anger.

He shook his head once more, "I mean what are you doing in London."

Rory frowned upon hearing his low, monotonous voice. "Logan's here for work. I thought I'd come along - get out of the house for a bit." She half shrugged as she tucked a piece of hair behind her hair and looked down at her lap. "What are you doing here?"

Jess took a sip of his beer and raised his eyebrows, feeling a sting pin at him that she was even asking that question. "Book tour," she said in a short manner, not wanting to explain even further.

"Another book? Jess, that's incredible!" Rory genuinely smiled and praised him. She felt bad that she hadn't known about it, but she had been busy trying to mend ties with Logan. "What's this one about?"

Jess scoffed and rubbed the back of his neck. "A guy with abilities. He has to figure out how to keep himself from blowing up half of New York." He nodded and smiled as he said slogan, "Save The Cheerleader, Save The World."

"Wow," Rory nodded, "sounds intense. I'm gonna have to pick that up later."

The man finished off his beer without saying another word and paid his bill while Rory was still sitting across from him, saying absolutely nothing. "Goodnight, Rory," he said as he stood up and pushed in his chair.

He thought he had gotten out of there easily, but instead once he had gotten down the hallway of the hotel, he heard her heels clicking on the ground as she was running to catch up with him. Jess tried his best not to yell at her and instead kept walking until he felt her hand on his left shoulder. "What do you want, Rory?" He rubbed a hand down his face and took a deep breath before she answered.

"You're acting like you don't want to see me," she protested and crossed her arms.

Jess shoved his hands in his pockets and laughed. "Yeah, that's because you chose to leave. Don't act like it didn't happen when it did." After silence fell upon the girl, Jess turned around and started heading back to his hotel room. Sadly, he still heard the click of Rory's shoes behind him, but chose to ignore it completely. Once they had gotten upstairs and reached his room, Jess sighed and turned back to face Rory. She was standing in the hallway with big sappy eyes that made Jess weak in the knees. He didn't want to give into her, but sadly, he felt as if he had no other choice. "Wanna come in?"

Rory's face lit up as she nodded rapidly and bit her bottom lip, keeping her mouth from turning into a full-blown smile. Jess had never seen the girl after an entire bottle of wine, but he was starting to understand that she almost turned into a small child that wanted nothing but attention. Normally, he wouldn't have minded this much, but he was still drenched in anger from the entire situation. He was irritated and felt nauseous and all he wanted was to go to sleep.

"Let's order some champaign," Rory suggested as she walked into his hotel room and immediately grabbed the room service menu from the bedside table. The girl plopped down on the bed, making her jump up from hitting the mattress too hard.

Jess shook his head and sat down next to her, trying not to get too close. "I think you've had enough for the night. Don't you agree?" He asked with a small hint of concern in his voice.

The girl shook her head and scrunched up her face. "No, no. Not yet." She flipped her small frame over and crawled her way over to the phone. "Room service," she requested. "Yeah, can I get your best bottle of champagne?"

Jess groaned at the request. It wasn't that he didn't have the money to pay for it, but he didn't want Rory to stay any longer. "Why champagne? It has no taste to it."

"We're celebrating. Duh." She said it with complete ease, like he was in on whatever she was talking about.

The man shut his eyes as tight as possible and released them after a few moments. "May I ask what we're celebrating?"

Rory sat up straight and placed her head on his shoulder. "My divorce papers, of course."

With those five words, Jess' heart started racing. He didn't know what to think about the situation, but he could already tell that he'd be picking up the broken pieces of Rory Gilmore once again. She was so far gone at this point that he didn't know where to start. The divorce was a miracle to him, but he didn't think that the girl would be headed into a downward spiral. This isn't what he originally pictured, but he took it for what it was. "Glad to hear it," he said with a bitter tone, trying not to let his excitement show through. "It's been a long time coming."


	10. Love in the Time of Cholera

It had been a few hours since Rory had told Jess about her divorce to Logan. In those few hours, a whirlwind of surprises and mistakes took the two by storm. Now, the man sat up in bed and peered over at Rory who was face down in her pillow snoring, sleeping off all of the alcohol she had just consumed. The man ran a hand up and down his face as he examined the messy room. There were empty bottles of champagne knocked over on the dresser and bedside tables and not too far from those were clothes that got spewed and thrown all over the place in the heat of a reckless moment. Neither of the two thought about anything they were doing, but it felt good, to say the least. Quietly, the man lifted himself off of the bed to find his pants and then headed towards the window that overlooked most of the London skyline. It was foggy, but he could see clearly enough in the dark city to make sense of all the buildings. Before sitting down on the windowsill, he took another look at Rory. She was a heavy sleeper, but also a peaceful one. He sat down and took out a cigarette and sparked it up before fumbling through his carryon bag to find a notebook. He scattered words onto the sheet and let out a sigh after he had finished. It took half a cigarette and a lot of regret, but he had finally written his short goodbye to the girl he had forever loved. He didn't know what to say, so he said it in the most simplistic way possible. He didn't want to be her therapist or her rebound - he just wanted her and he knew that was never going to happen in the way he wanted it to.

As he tiptoed around the room to pick up his clothes and bags, Rory slowly awoke from her slumber and squinted her eyes in his direction. "Jess?" She whispered with a scratchy voice. "What are you doing?"

The man jumped as soon as she spoke and damned himself for not collecting his things fast enough. He didn't want to explain himself fully, but here they were - in the dark and half naked - needing different things at this point. "Uh," he mumbled and tried to think fast on his feet, but the gross champagne made the man want to vomit with every step he took. "Nothing, go back to bed." He smiled at her in the darkness, but knew she couldn't see it.

"Come here," Rory half-demanded as she fought to keep her eyes open.

If Jess was strong enough, he would've refused to do so and would've left the hotel and gone to a different one. Hell, he'd go to the airport if he was strong enough. But Lorelai Leigh Gilmore was his number one weakness and even in her sleepy haze, she knew it, too. With a defeated sigh, he put down his shoes and walked back over to the bed and climbed in. He hated himself for doing so, but he couldn't say no to Rory, no matter how badly he wanted to. He didn't want to be her rebound from an asshole like Logan. Rory was like ancient ruins now that their relationship was over and Jess had to be perfectly careful as he reconstructed her. It was like tiptoeing around a small child for the most part. It was hard to do, but the moment he laid back down next to her in that bed, he knew that he was going to spend a very long time putting her back together. She was his Rory, after all.

* * *

Around noon, the two woke up with lazy smiles on their faces. Jess knew this was going to happen - the girl was like a drug that had him hooked for years now - but he smiled anyway, feeling like he had finally won in some odd way. Rory rolled onto her side to face Jess and rested her head on his shoulder. "Coffee." That's all she could manage to say after last night. Jess didn't expect her to say anything else, honestly. She had always been this way if she didn't have coffee in her system. The man let out a soft chuckle as he reached his arm across her to find the room phone to order room service.

The two ate breakfast in bed without exchanging a word. All that time that had passed since the last time they had seen each other had drifted away like everything else. It didn't matter. The two always had the most comfortable silences and it always felt very homey to both of them. Halfway into their meal, Jess' cell phone started to ring and he let out a groan the moment he saw his agent's contact pop up. "Shit," he mumbled under his breath before answering. "I forgot," he explained the moment he hit answer. The man nodded and rolled his eyes to the woman on the other end as he scrambled to find clothes and his bag. "I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?" He sounded irritated, making Rory grow more and more curious by the moment as she listened. He slipped into the bathroom to get ready as Rory finished eating her breakfast. Once he emerged from the bathroom, Rory smiled at him, but he still looked irritated. "I have a signing to get to," he explained as he took his cup of coffee and chugged the remainder of it.

"Can I come?" Rory asked with her brows raised. "I've always wanted to see you as a true author."

Jess scowled at the comment. "I'm not a true author," he explained, "but if you can get ready in five minutes, you're welcome to tag along."

The girl hopped out of bed and out the door to her own hotel room. After collecting his messenger bag, Jess headed out the door and to the lobby to wait for Rory. If she took longer than five minutes, he was going without her. He was always late to these types of things and if it happened once more, he'd most likely get fired and he wasn't going to risk it.

It took seven minutes, but Rory arrived in the lobby looking as if she hadn't chugged back an entire rack of alcohol last night. Her beauty never ceased to amaze Jess, but he held his tongue this time.

The whole signing lasted about two hours and every so often, Jess would scan the book store to make sure that Rory hadn't run off, but every time he spotted her, she was sitting in a comfy chair, reading his book and smiling to herself. He knew that she liked every genre out there, but he didn't think this particular book would be her style. He shrugged and continued to sign his books and talk to a few happy fans of his. Once it was over, he wandered off to find a very specific book, paid for it, and then went to find Rory. "Hey," he said as he hit her chair with the back of the book in his hands.

"Hey," Rory laughed and sat up straight to face him, "I'm almost finished with this. It's amazing, Jess."

He shook his head. "Ya'know, I could sign it for you, if you'd like."

The girl rolled her eyes and looked down at the bag in his hands. "What's that?"

"An oldie, but a goodie." He explained as he reached his hand out to help her sit up. "You wanna go to lunch?"

Rory nodded and along they went. The entire time, Jess was thinking of the book that weighed down the plastic bag on his wrist. _Love in the time of Cholera_ by Gabriel Garcia Marquez seemed to pop into his head in the middle of his signing. He wasn't quite sure why - he hadn't read in years - but one quote did seem to stick out to him after all of these years and it was more than fitting after the past fourteen hours they shared.

" _To him, she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single on of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell._ "


	11. Back to the Basics

It had been a crazy few days with flying and trying to be in the right place at the right time. Rory was already making sure that Jess was on time to all of his signings and even to their flights. The last flight of the week landed them right back in New Haven. It wasn't Jess' choice, of course, but they knew that Rory had to discuss everything with her mother once again. If there was anything that Jess wanted to fix, it was their relationship. Though Jess and Lorelai weren't exactly each others' biggest fans, he knew what Lorelai meant to Rory and he couldn't stand knowing that the two hardly talked anymore.

Every now and then, their hands would brush up against the others and Rory would smile wide enough that Jess could catch it in his peripheral vision, making him shake his head at the girl. There was something about the way she had been acting that made it seem like everything was the way it was when they were teenagers. Nothing had ever really changed between the two and sometimes Jess didn't know if that was a good thing or not, but when he saw Rory smile, he knew that it was alright to stay around for a little while longer.

They both felt as if they were teenagers again. Smitten in the most obvious way possible, even though they both wouldn't admit it if it had to do with that word whatsoever. Rory would rather go with "enamored" while Jess would just go with the simple half-shrug as he stuck his hands in his coat pockets. That's how it always was and always will be. No matter the place or time, they were who they were and that affection wouldn't change for anything. Even after Logan and all the hurt and pain; the fact that Jess had to put Rory back together with safety pins and duct tape... Even after all of that, they were still the same old Jess and Rory, even if it took some getting used to after all the time that had passed between then and now.

As the two circled the town square, they felt the eyes of the town on them, making them both uncomfortable. "Jeez," Jess exhaled and shook his head. "Some things never change."

"Especially Stars Hollow," Rory affirmed with a smile making its way to her lips. She loved the town more than she loved a lot of things. It was obvious to anyone that had ever met her. This was her home, where her roots were. No matter where she ended up.. or how long she had been away, this was always her home and that would never change.

Jess raised his eyebrows at the girl. "It's like this place was frozen in time. Some weird science experiment that no one has ever been able to explain to me."

The smile faltered from the girls face. "I thought you were over hating it."

"Just because I'm here sometimes doesn't mean anything," Jess shrugged. "It just means that it brought me a little closer to you. In that sense, it was hard to hate it. Maybe it's just the people I don't like."

"That must be it," Rory nodded. She liked it when Jess was being nice. She almost wasn't used to people sharing and not yelling at her. Years of Huntzbergers' and lying around will do that to you.

Come midnight, the two headed back to Lorelai's house to go their separate ways.

The left side of Rory's lip went up and something went off in her eyes. " _Maybe... You'll fall in love with me all over again_." Rory quoted one of Jess' favorite Hemingway books.

The moment those words rolled off of her tongue, Jess' heart stood still and he wasn't able to make a peep. " _Hell_ ," he replied with a grin, " _I love you enough now. What do you want to do? Ruin me?_ "

The girl started to giggle softly. " _Yes. I want to ruin you_."

Though the two were having a small, goofy moment, Jess suddenly turned silent and his face was painted with genuine solemnity. " _Good_ ," Jess said. " _That's what I want too_." He nodded as he watched Rory's face turn from a cheerful smile to a doleful frown. "Goodnight, Rory."

"Goodnight, Dodger."

Rory watched him as he turned away from the Gilmore house and started walking back towards the diner. By the time he was at the end of the driveway, he turned back around. Rory could see the playful smile on his face. "Like I said before... Ernest only has lovely things to say about you." With that, he turned back around and kept on going.

The girls heart sang in a way she didn't know possible. As much as she despised Hemingway, she couldn't help but to read his works whenever she was missing Jess. It felt as if there was still a part of him in her life if she read the books and made small notes on the pages like he always did. Before heading inside, she spoke to the wind. " _Why, darling, I don't live at all when I'm not with you._ "


End file.
